Betsy MacGregor, M.D.
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betsy macgregor md, book, death, dying, end-of-life care, hospice, doctors' stories, doctors' experiences

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Letter to a Friend Near Death

Letter from Betsy to a Friend Near Death.
Dearest friend,

I’d like to share a few thoughts with you about the dying process, with the faith that you will hear truth in them to the degree that your own soul perceives is useful.  Perhaps they may help you in some way.

The path you are on now, called in the ancient traditions, The Path of Return, is truly an amazing journey.  It is one that may feel challenging and unknown to the mind, but it is well known to the soul.  It is a journey that may surprise you to some degree, partly because our culture is so blind to its true meaning, and partly because you yourself may not have thought about it that much or perhaps have had limited or unpleasant ideas about it.  That wouldn’t be unusual.

But I want to reassure you of this:  it is a journey that is completely trustworthy and natural, for it places you in the hands of your soul and of life itself, which are both all about love.  Here is a brief description of this journey.

First, and perhaps most surprising, you will discover that you will not lose your sense of self nor your consciousness on this journey.  You will remain aware of yourself.  The sense of who you are will stay intact even as your physical body lets go of its life.  

As your body draws closer to the moment of taking its final in-breath and then releasing its out-breath for the last time, and as your courageous heart that has been beating faithfully without stopping for your entire physical existence finally becomes still, you will find yourself having the experience of withdrawing – of withdrawing from your worn-out body and leaving it behind, of gradually moving away from the physical surroundings that you’re in, and of leaving behind the familiar experience of “being alive”.

At this point it will be clear to those around you that your body has stopped functioning and become empty of its enlivening energy – empty of the special presence that was you.

But you yourself will have the choice, if you wish, to continue to be conscious of everything that is happening -- and I suspect you will choose to do just that, because you’ll be finding it quite interesting and meaningful and beautiful to see how your life completes itself.  

You will feel yourself beginning to move away, letting go of your connection to the life you’re been living for the past many years -- letting go of the identity you’ve worn and been very used to and known yourself as.  It will be a pleasant feeling of parting, of saying goodbye with a deep sense of gratitude to the life you’ve lived.  You will know fully how much you have had to be grateful for:  for the person that you were; for the many people you shared life experiences with and called your friends and family; and especially for the one person who stood out from all the others, the dear man you were married to – the funny, hard-working, kind, devoted, unique, and imperfect-as-we-all-are man with whom you shared much of your lifetime.

You will shower your beloved mate with your love as you withdraw, and through his tears he will feel it.  Even though his thoughts will be sad, he will feel in his heart that you are not far away, sending him your love, and it will help him.  You will feel an all-encompassing tenderness toward him, and you will help him bear the natural human sorrow that comes with this kind of parting.

“In Awe of Being Human is a book of inspiration and renewal. It is impossible to read these beautiful stories without remembering that, at its core, medicine is not a work of science but an act of love.”

~ RACHEL NAOMI REMEN, M.D., author of Kitchen Table Wisdom and My Grandfather’s Blessings
For you will know that it is only a temporary parting – a period of time of being separated by a veil.  From your place of seeing – from the vantage point of seeing with the eyes of the soul – you will know that you two will remain connected by the love you share for as long as you choose to be – even for eternity if that is what you want.

I send you all my blessings for this mysterious and magical journey you are on.  May it heal you and bring your soul the sense of completion and fulfillment you richly deserve.

With unending love,

Betsy

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